The Other Girl

I was walking along a long winding path in the woods when I saw her; the other girl. She was a few feet away this time. I'd see her almost everyday, this girl. And she caught my eye every single time. The reason it was so was because she was all I could not be, all I wanted to be.
She had the perfect hair, the right length, curled just right. From this distance, her skin was flawless. She was confident and poised and, had this particular grace in her walk that I could never match. I was jealous.
Jealous of her popularity, jealous of the people she hung out with, jealous of her dressing sense....you name it.
She looked across the few feet at me. Her eyes seemed to mock me, seemed to laugh at the way I still was...inadequate and awkward. I had so much to do before I could be anywhere close to where she was.
She covered the distance between us fairly quickly, I lowered my eyes. Then I lowered my head.
I was ashamed. Ashamed of the way she could sing, ashamed of my fear of her, ashamed of being judged.
I rested my head against the cool mirror as I thought,
"She is all I could be and I am her".

Flight

I breathe in deep
it hurts, just like the breath before
and the many before that.
The pain hasn't dulled
nor have the memories faded.
But, now I see
I understand.
I decide to set you free
to set me free.
I forgive.
I breathe out
And then there's peace.

The Perfect Guy

There was a slight breeze. The sunlight fell across his face, the shadows of his perfect long eyelashes shaded his eyes. Those eyes, she'd always loved those brown eyes with darker rings around the irises. At this moment, they looked exquisite. She'd been too busy admiring those eyes to hear what he was saying.
"....I wish we could live together", he said. She looked away, "you know it's not possible". He put his cool hand over hers. She was surprised at the goosebumps rising over her flesh. "Even after all this time", she wondered. She smiled at him; he knew. He intertwined his fingers with hers, and pulled her closer. "Jaan", he said, "I love you....a lot!". And then he kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes, and sighed. "I love you too", she whispered into his chest. He held her close and sniffed her hair, like he always did. She smiled, her ear against his chest, where she could hear his heartbeat. His grip around her tightened. She loved being this way.
"My Chipmunk", he said in her ear through clenched teeth. She was content just to stay this way.
She thought of the many conversations over the many months. She'd never been the mushy kind and the first sight of the "future talk" made her run away like a deer. But, he'd managed to break down her shell. She went over the future they had planned, some of it in a sort of a joke. He seemed to fervently believe in it. He'd planned his career and he'd said, light hearted, "Wait for me...just 7 more years, I'll build a house for you and we'll live abroad". "Mmmm...too long a wait", was always her reply. She knew that talking about all this would go nowhere, but she'd begun to believe in it too, in a future with him. They were so comfortable, that was what was best about them. Soon, they'd planned a couple of rooms, added a sauna and a jacuzzi, even planned the bedsheets they'd buy first.She wanted a huge aquarium in the room. He wanted her to design his room in the house his father was building in a couple of years too. It was mushy, it was too soon, it seemed right. They'd discussed all they could and felt way beyond their years. He seemed like the perfect guy.

She sighed again and burrowed deeper into his very protective arms, breathed in deep,took in the way he smelled like soap,deo, something of his own and his sweet breath. It was familiar and calmed her, made her feel closer to him."I'll ALWAYS be there for you...ma baby!", he said.

She opened her eyes, threw her hand across the bed and pulled the pillow closer.
He'd lied.
And they were the few of many lies.